I’m currently working on a chapter on criticism and conflict for a forthcoming book on leadership. Here are a few thoughts that I hope to develop in the chapter.
- Criticism and conflict are inevitable in leadership (if leadership is actually going to achieve anything). Reggie McNeal says that ‘the decision to serve as a spiritual leader signs one up for conflict’.
- However not all conflict and criticism are the same: some of it is destructive and says more about the critic than the leader. Leaders need to distinguish between the various types.
- Someone has said that we should weigh criticism rather than count our critics. Not everyone’s voice carries (or should carry) the same weight.
- Learn to look at yourself in the mirror before attempting to deal with your critics.
- Identify and deal with your own defensiveness and insecurity. If you don’t, you will not deal well with your critics.
- Look for the grain of truth, no matter what is happening. What do you need to take on board?
- In the event that the criticism is more about the critic than about the leader, what might the leader need to learn about what’s going on in the critic?
- Have the humility to allow critics to become coaches.
- Learn to see criticism as a path to growth rather than a fight to be won.
- Remember (especially if you are a pastor) that the tenderness that allows you to be sensitive to others probably makes you more vulnerable to the wounds of a critic.
The Crucible of Leadership 